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Being the damn Yankee American over in Europe is bad enough with all the Anti-American crap going around, so as a guest to my German family, I’ve tried to be as low maintenance as possible. I figured an early morning trip to England from Germany would be no big deal and was pleased to find an airline deal with RyanAir. My family is located in a town outside of Dusseldorf, so I figured a flight from any Dusselsorf airport would would be similiar in distance.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that Dusseldorf Weeze NRN airport is a full 70 KM outside of Dusseldorf in a place the Germans refer to as “Pampa”. (Americans would call this BFE — for Butt F*ck Egypt.) Literally, Weeze is a tiny town nearly in the Netherlands — in the middle of nowhere, and absolutely NOT close to Dusseldorf, and outside of any train or bus access in the wee morning hours — save for one train in the middle of the night that takes 6 hours to travel the necessary distance.

So here’s my rant: how in the f*ck can RyanAir say their terminal is in Dusseldorf when it ain’t even close? What kind of pot were they smoking when they named the terminal “Dusseldorf Weeze NRN”? It makes no sense.

The only way to make my flight was to ask my friend K to drive me. At 4AM.

So much for being low maintenance.

After a search, I found that I’m not the only one who thinks RyanAir is full of crap.   One has to wonder why, a full 4 years later the name Dusseldorf is still being used to describe Weeze.