• “Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Children?”

  Filed under Foo
  Nov 6

  I was having one of those days where you just have to get stuff done. Normal day, no biggee.

  

  So I was strolling along at the grocery store and I heard a tune that sounded oddly familiar. I actually stopped and listened and realized it was the 1991 hit from the one hit wonder band the “Divinyls” called “I Touch Myself.” Only it was done Muzak style.

  For those of you who don’t know the song, here are some lyrics

  I love myself
  I want you to love me
  When I’m feelin’ down
  I want you above me
  I search myself
  I want you to find me
  I forget myself
  I want you to remind me

  Chorus:
  I don’t want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don’t want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no
  …

  Yes, the very same country who threw a big fit about a half second of exposed nipple at the super bowl because ‘it was a family venue’ has a muzaked version of a song about masturbation. (Oh, but, we must not call it masturbation. According to Oprah, we must call it “self cultivation.” Apparently, she’s gardening down there.)

  This happened in Texas, mind you, where it is difficult to swing a dead cat without hitting a bible fundamentalist.

  I was amused.

Leave a Reply