• “Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Children?”

  Filed under Foo
  Nov 6

  I was having one of those days where you just have to get stuff done. Normal day, no biggee.

  

  So I was strolling along at the grocery store and I heard a tune that sounded oddly familiar. I actually stopped and listened and realized it was the 1991 hit from the one hit wonder band the “Divinyls” called “I Touch Myself.” Only it was done Muzak style.

  For those of you who don’t know the song, here are some lyrics

  I love myself
  I want you to love me
  When I’m feelin’ down
  I want you above me
  I search myself
  I want you to find me
  I forget myself
  I want you to remind me

  Chorus:
  I don’t want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don’t want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no
  …

  Yes, the very same country who threw a big fit about a half second of exposed nipple at the super bowl because ‘it was a family venue’ has a muzaked version of a song about masturbation. (Oh, but, we must not call it masturbation. According to Oprah, we must call it “self cultivation.” Apparently, she’s gardening down there.)

  This happened in Texas, mind you, where it is difficult to swing a dead cat without hitting a bible fundamentalist.

  I was amused.

  3 Comments

3 Responses to ““Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Children?””

1. 

   Tony said on August 10th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

   I live in Texas, so the hitting the fundamentalist with a dead cat was amusing.

   However, the DiVinyls are not a one hit wonder. They are quite well known in Australia.

2. 

   Heather said on August 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm

   Thanks Tony! I didn’t know the DiVinyls are a well known band!

3. 

   joy said on August 13th, 2009 at 2:54 pm

   this is the funniest thing I have heard today – a muzak of “I touch myself.”

   It reminds me of a day I was browsing in a store at the beach and I heard a song with the lyrics – “I kissed a girl, and I liked it.” It wasn’t muzak, it was the real thing – but I was pretty surprised! I never thought I’d be an adult who threw her hands in the air and said KIDS TODAY! but sometimes I just can’t help it. WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT??????????????

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