• Kristine Drives a ‘Grandma Car’

  Filed under Foo
  Nov 4
  

  4 Doors. Cushy seats that comfortably seat 5. All she needs now is the bluing for her hair.

  
  I’m fresh out of ideas for what to blog about today for NaBloPoMo, so I’ve decided to pick on my friend Kristine.

  I love Kristine. Really, I do. She’s a sharp dresser and always seems to know what to say in tough social situations. I ask her for advice all the time, as I deeply value what she has to say.

  But I gotta say. Her new car is a grandma car. Kristine vehemently denies this.

  Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying I won’t be driving a car like that for another 40 or so years until it is more age appropriate.

  So what do I think constitutes a ‘Grandma car’?

  Simple

  1. Size. This is the probably the biggest indicator. The bigger, the better. Grandma doesn’t like small cars. I saw Kristine’s new baby parked next to a Cadillac and it was the same length and width.

  2. 4 doors This is so Grandma can haul all her friends to the BINGO hall. It needs to have 4 doors so everyone can get in and out comfortably.

  3. Couch-like seating Grandma’s friends like comfort. You could drive 3 large men comfortably in the back seat of her car for 200 miles.

  4. Git up and go Grandma likes to drive everywhere fast. Sure, she may not be able to see that well, but hey, her ride is huge so she won’t get hurt.

  Now, granted, Kristine’s car is a Toyota, and usually Grandmas go for Buicks. But this is the same size and width of a Buick, so I’m letting that one slide.

  I will say, however, that Kristine’s Grandma car is a nice ride. It was *really* comfortable. Sort of like driving a couch. I think that the B-52’s sang it best:

  I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale and we’re headin’ on down
  To the Love Shack
  I got me a Camry it seats about 20
  So hurry up and bring your jukebox money

  Or…something like that.

  3 Comments

3 Responses to “Kristine Drives a ‘Grandma Car’”

1. 

   Kristine said on November 4th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

   LOL your definition of grandma car is dated. Wake up and smell the 2009!!

2. 

   Heather said on November 4th, 2008 at 8:06 pm

   Hey. I said the car didn’t have to be a Buick, didn’t I?

3. 

   BillMan said on November 5th, 2008 at 9:09 pm

   Speaking as a large man, I haven’t seen anything this side of a bus (and a custom bus at that) which could comfortably seat “three large men”, no matter what the distance – especially in the back seat!!

   Spoken like a truly diminutive person.

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