GreenEye Wire

Long story short because I’m moving and don’t have a lot of time. My hard drive went completely blippo and had to be replaced. Thankfully, I just purchased a warranty for my little Mac, so it was all covered. And, thankfully, my Time Machine ran that day, so I had a complete backup.

All I had to do was click a button that said “Restore from backup” and presto, my mac was back to it was before.

I love my Mac.

Through facebook, I recently got in touch with one of my friends from high school.

Yes. I know it is shocking. I actually did have a friend in high school.

Anyway, talking to her got me to thinking a lot about change and how I always struggle with it. Yes, I realize the only thing that really stays the same is the fact that things change, but for some reason, I fight change. I stay in relationships long after they have gone sour. I try desperately to put humpty back together long after the pieces are ground into dust.

Even small changes are a big deal to me. Like hair color. But more on that later.

My friend Angela, on the other hand, has always sailed through change. It’s something I’ve always admired about her. She changes hair colors so often that her three kids have never seen her real color in their entire lives. If she had the day planned a certain way and things change at the last minute, she doesn’t have a crisis over it, she just sails through it. Sort of like a chameleon who changes colors to fit the landscape, she changes as she needs to to fit her environment.

Perhaps it is her artistic nature that causes her to want change. I remember when we were growing up, she was always drawing something in class, either for an art project or just in the margins of her notebook. She wore what she wanted, said what she said, and if you liked it, fine, and if not, ok too.

But it wasn’t just her flexibility I admired, it was also her independence. She never seemed to give a damn what others said about her.

I spoke to her about what she has done since high school. After two failed marriages, she finally found her true love — who happened to be a friend to her all along.

And for some reason, I admire the fact that she has two failed marriages. I don’t see the two failed marriages as a failure, I see that in her life, she has always been true to herself, and she followed her heart, and when something went wrong, she changed her life and moved on. In other words, she didn’t stay stuck in a failed marriage, she recognized it wasn’t working and believed enough in herself to get out of it.

She lived. And maybe she has some battle scars from it, but she really lived.

She showed me a picture of her and her beloved that she took on a recent ‘naked bike ride’ to the desert in Utah and she was the most happy and beautiful that I’d ever seen. (Yes Bill, the naked parts were out of camera shot.) I never would have thought of taking a bike ride to be with nature in the buff, but can totally understand how she’d be comfortable with herself enough to do it.

She follows her heart. And sometimes, the path she takes is a dead end, so she turns around and keeps moving. She never seems to stagnate.

I told her about how difficult it was for me to change hair color, and that I was afraid my hair might weaken and fall out. Her answer was simple “It’s just hair, it’ll grow back, and if it falls out, well, you don’t have to mess with styling it.” So poignant.

Since I’m experiencing a big life change right now, finishing up a divorce that probably should have happened a long time ago, I decided to change my hair color to red. I doubt I’ll keep it this color for very long, but I guess that’s the whole point.

Thank you, Angela.

This video — and I still cant’ figure out how to put this on my site — should be played at every school in America.

The last couple of days, I’ve been more social than I’ve been in a long time. Friday I went out to the movies with a couple of my friends to see the horrible new chick flick “The Women.” I have to say I had high hopes for this movie since it was based upon the 1939 classic of the same name. I have two words: don’t bother.

Saturday, I went out with a new friend of mine from my hip hop class and we went to see another movie “The Family That Preys.” I can honestly say this movie is one of the best I’ve seen in a long time. Lots of plot, and the ending absolutely turns you on your head. Later that night, I went to Karaoke with some other friends at a local dive. We talked, laughed and danced. A good time.

Today, I went with those same friends to the McKinney Flea Market and purchased the ring pictured to the left. Recently, swirls are something that have come to have a lot of meaning to me. The first swirl I saw was a petroglyph on the wall of Zion National Park. Somehow that design really spoke to me. It held so much meaning to me that I had a swirl tattooed on my right leg. People ask me what it means, and it is difficult for me to explain exactly. I think the closest thing that people can understand is that it means ‘everlasting life’ although I feel much more than that for this symbol. Long before I learned anything about Eastern Philosophy, I knew the soul didn’t die.

I was a young kid when I figured this out. I remember one day on the playground — I was around age 8 - I was very sad because I was wondering what I would do when our dog Bart died. It was kind of a heavy subject for a kid to handle, and Bart was in fine health and would go on to live another 5 years, but I was very sad and dreading his death on that particular day on the playground. And after about 15 minutes or so of brooding, a voice clear as day said “The Soul is too complex to die.” I immediately felt better, and went about playing on the playground.

But what is interesting is that even earlier than that, I had a sense that people go on to live multiple lives. The story is rather funny.

On my 6th birthday I went to school, and Miss Strecker — who still teaches kidnergarten in my hometown to this day — asked me the typical question asked of all children on their birthday, “How old are you today.”

Now, I know this may come as a shock to those who know me, but I was a serious little kid.

I looked her straight in the eye, and I said “I don’t know exactly how old I am, but I know that I am an old lady.”

Her reply was to laugh and say “No, Heather. You’re SIX!”

I looked at her, still serious as always and said, “No. I’m much older than you.”

I don’t recall how she answered me back, but I had a sense of being an ‘old soul’ of sorts. I didn’t have any sort of influence that could explain this other than just ‘knowing it’.

I sometimes wonder if Miss Strecker remembers that day, or if it was something she just wrote off as ‘out of the mouths of babes’ moment.

The McKinney flea market also had a row dedicated just to people with puppy mills to sell their little dogs. I felt horrible even looking. But it did make me know that I want to expand the family once again and perhaps get Sebastian and Ryan a little brother or sister.

But today, I just got a ring.